Matthew "Simply the Shit" Zelesnikar

Matt's first writing.............

Hey all you people out there in the world, it's good to back here at the Club Tokyo. I feel that I can be a person who is very open. For starters, I will tell you that Joe Schieve has a very, very girlish figure...as for Call, well we won't go there. Aight, now for me to write...

I feel my job on this earth is simple, make all of you people know what life is all really about. If you have any idea well, throw it out the fucking window - sorry about the f-bomb. "Life is like a box of chocolates". Word up to Forrest...he hit the nail right on the GD head. What I mean is that when he said that he had one thing on his mind....SEX....that's right, sex was on his mind. Life is like a box of hoes, you never know what STD you will get. Life is sex, sex makes both male and females very happy if everything goes well. But let me tell you this if there is something wrong, then by God, run like hell..get your little ass the hell out of there. Take a long vacation with your mom and ask her what she used to do and what she likes. Trust me, people like "Joe Schieve" have learned so much from their moms and dads. I heard one time that Joe had mistaken his mother for his girlfriend and threw it in his mom, now my God, I would have kicked my own ass for doing that. I had read in a magazine that will not be titles at this moment in time that a man has sex 78 times in one year's time. Aight, this can't be true due to the fact that Little Bobby Gilman can't even get erect (not due to his sisters non-stop blow jobs on him, of course). But anyway, make sure you use a hat, you know - a rubber, rain coat, jimmy, sea water stopper.......if you do this you will be able to prevent millions of problems and your bed sheets will smell great for the rest of your life.

"Aight, for my last line"

.......being fat is not a right its a priveledge...you have to work on it to make it look good............