Willy's Wedding Timeline
composed by Amy Waltersdorf and JoshO

Introduction:
I asked Amy Waltersdorf to be my date to Willy's Wedding on November 1, 2003. She readily agreed, and upon arriving fifteen minutes late to the festivities at St. John's, we began to keep a timeline of the events that transpired during this blessed day

3:15pm: Amy and Josh late to service
3:16pm: Amy and Josh follow large group of other late people, only to be locked out of the other doors to the church
4:00pm: Church service over; Amy understands a total of 6 words
4:49pm: Willy comes out to Amy and Josh's table to chat
4:53pm: Willy states that he now owns Corky's Bar and Yacht Club
4:54pm: Willy flips out over the open bar not being open
5:01pm: Open bar opens
5:25pm: Josh calls ChrisO who states, "Oh, the wedding was today?"
5:42pm: Two 4 year old children making out near the table
5:46pm: The Andre champagne is brought out
6:00pm: The "Beverly Hills Cop" theme song is played during the introduction of Mr. and Mrs. William Harder
6:02pm: Amy's first time standing
6:05pm: Willy takes his coat off
6:06pm: The Timeline paper is hidden below eye level under the table
6:15pm: Our table starts what would be the first of many "Bang the Plate/Cup So the Married People Kiss" things
6:26pm: Our table starts what would be the second "Bang the Plate/Cup So the Married People Kiss" thing
6:28pm: The Timeline paper is now in plain view
6:32pm: The entire table singing "Always and Forever"
6:44pm: Josh asks if there's dessert
6:50pm: Josh is nursing his glass of Andre, "Boooooo" says Amy
6:59pm: Half the table sings the Brozetti Pizza jingle
7:25pm: The married couple's first dance together: Bryan Adam's "Everything I Do (I Do it for You)" - guessed by Josh first
7:29pm: Amy and Josh head back to the table to prepare for the "upcoming dance party"
7:34pm: Willy's father, now divorced from Willy's mother, cuts in during the Mother-Son dance
7:39pm: DJ, who is also singing along, holds onto the "come on" too long during "Celebrate"; it sounds like this: "CUM AWWWWN"
7:40pm: Josh wants to play tamborine
7:50pm: Professional photographer takes photo of Amy and Josh while they look at karaoke book
7:51pm: People getting ready for the One Dollar Dance
7:52pm: Amy states: "This is the best wedding I've ever been to!" (435830928450683049802834068 times)
8:02pm: Amy has this exchange with the bartender:
Amy: "Can I have a white shzghzaght?"
Bartender: "Zinfadel?"
Amy: "YES!"
8:11pm: Amy and Josh have this exchange:
Amy: "I love it that it's 8:0.........7?"
Josh: "8-oh-HAMMMERED!"
8:12pm: Josh states: "I'm really close to dancing with Willy."
8:13pm: Amy knocks down the No Smoking sign
8:14pm: Amy states: "I want to steal Willy's daughter!"
8:18pm: Amy and Josh have this exchange:
Amy: "Where's the food? Are they bringing more out?"
Josh: "I'm STARVING."
Amy: "I guess you're not sick any more."
8:20pm: Amy and Josh have this exchange:
Josh: "Keeping drinking the wine-o."
Amy: "It's VINO!"
8:25pm: Amy and Josh both dance with Willy (at the same time)
8:26pm: All assembled belt out "Unchained Melody"
8:32pm: Amy learns to polka
8:36pm: Amy and Josh do the Chicken Dance
8:37pm: A child dressed as a chicken comes out
8:40pm: Amy and Josh do the Hokey-Pokey; Amy almost falls
8:43pm: Amy and Josh do the Locomotion; Josh steals cheese
8:50pm: Grand Funk Railroad's "Some Kind of Wonderful" is played; Josh thinks of his mom
9:00pm: Phil, Beth, Amy and Josh sing "Bohemian Rhapsody"
9:06pm: Amy dances with Willy's daughter
9:12pm: Josh catches the garter
9:13pm: Josh has his hands up bridesmaid's dress
9:14pm: Bridesmaid's boyfriend upset at Josh; dances with Amy
9:15pm: Amy and Josh do the Electric Slide
9:17pm: Amy and Josh do their second polka
9:25pm: Josh dances with Willy's youngest daughter
9:48pm: Josh sings Elvis's "Can't Help Falling in Love With You"
10:00pm: Amy, Josh and Jess Whalen headed to Corky's for the after party
10:37pm: Amy, Josh and Jess Whalen read the Timeline
11:00pm: Josh is told he looks like Josh Grobin
11:02pm: Josh is happy
11:05pm: Josh takes 934852094380582943 photos of himself
11:25pm: Amy gives Josh compliment; Josh sticks middle finger in her face
11:49pm: Amy, Josh and Jess Whalen go to Downtown Binghamton; Amy and Jess wear a sailor and hard hat