CAPTAIN MORGAN'S RUMMIN' REBELS

This hard-hitting, slick-fielding dynamo has taken CoEd Division C Softball by storm. Made up almost exclusively of CommTap students, the team has stormed out to a 3-1 record, qualifying for the playoffs.

Schedule: PLAYOFFS

5/10 vs. TBA 5:00pm - Field 6 (with win)

5/11 vs. TBA 5:00pm (with win)

5/12 vs. TBA 5:00pm (with win)

5/13 vs. TBA 5:00pm

To Date:

3/31 vs. Apothecaries - WIN 15-0

4/7 vs. Leach's Johnson - Loss 5-3

4/14 vs. Aytrappers - WIN 5-3

4/21 vs. The Slackers - FORFEIT WIN 1-0

4/28 vs. Hoosier Daddy - Loss

Regular Season Final Record - 3 wins, 2 losses

The Team:

1. Matt Wiffin #1 - Matt has had an outstanding year at the plate so far. He has homered multiple times, and knocked in the first runs of the Rummin' Rebels campaign. His outright focus at the plate has hampered him in the field, where he struggled to find his groove.

2. Luke Durocher #7 - Luke has not had the opportunity to suit up for a game as of yet. He missed one game for the Catholic Holy Thursday and two more for his swearing in as Southwest Campus Lt. Governor. A southpaw by nature, he will give opposing fielders fits when he drives the ball deep to right field.

3. Katie Niejalik #8 - Being a fine athelete, Katie has made the transition well to softabll from playing Field Hockey first semester. Sometimes reluctant to wear a glove when playing right field, it certainly hasn't hampered her fielding percentage. Her performace at the plate has helped bring home many a runner.

4. Eric Krans #9 - A player from the model of the legendary Babe Ruth, Eric thinks nothing of showing up to the games minorly intoxicated. This motor skill impairment has done nothing negative for his hitting and fielding. He has homered this season, and has played both first, third and shortstop positions.

5. Lisa Kessler #11 - Lisa has played well in the outfield in all the games. However, at the plate she has oftentimes struggled to find herself. She has performed well overall, but the team never really knows which player is going to show up.

6. Declan Murphy #18 - A dominant high school pitcher, Declan has shown his versitility by changing his position to left field. A gifted hitter and fielder, his magnificent sense of the game has done the Rebels well. He did miss a game, due to scholastic reasons. This emphasizes the team's true spirit - Academics First.

7. Barry Clegg #20 - "The Minister of Love", as he is known to some, has one of the best arms on the team. He has shown his fielding prowess in left field and also at shortstop. He has also bamboozled opposing fielders by his switch-hitting. However, this switch-hitting does not, by any means, carry over into his personal life.

8. Tracy D'Addio #21 - Tracy is the backstop of the team, often volunteering to play catcher - WITHOUT A MASK NOR GLOVE. This dedication inspires the rest of the team, and chides them into playing with 110%, as she always does.

9. Meghan O'Neil #22 - Meghan gave the team quite a scare when she and Katie arrived seconds before the Rebels' first game. However, "The Smoothie Incident", as it is known now, is all but forgotten by the team. Also a very fine athelete, Meghan patrols the outfield, snagging any hapless ball that comes near her person.

10. Josh Oryhon #24 - Blessed with speed, Josh stands guard over centerfield where he rountinely tracks down fly balls, oftentimes getting soiled in the process. This hustle and work ethic makes up for what Josh calls his "throwing like a sissy" style.

11. Neale Gay #32 - Neale was also fortunate enough to play on his high school baseball team. A wunderkind of a third basemen, he is remarkably agile for a man his size and religion. He struggled at the plate early on, until he imagined Christ's head as the ball - since then, the payoff has been enormous.

12. Sara Zelinski #43 - Usually the lead off batter, she sets the tone for the game by her perfomance in both the field and the batter's box. She has played softball for 15 years, and in the process, perfected the "chest catch", an incredibly difficult manouver, without the use of her hands.

13. Dan Shea #66 - Oftentimes arriving for games in Doc Marten's and green jeans, his choice of baseball attire has not affected his game whatsoever. A brilliant thirdbasemen, his range and arm do credit to the position. He also knows a fine way to make AIDS sound good - he states that "it tastes like Cinnamon".

14. Teall Gerrett #84 - Teall is the coal shoveler on the train that is the Rebels. His fiery attitude towards the game and acrobatic handshakes inspire all. He has also done quite well for himself at the plate, where he has hit veritable bombs to neighboring counties.

15. Rob Daly #99 - Rob has also enhanced his play by use of mind-altering substances. He, too, has not been affected for the worse. He has demonstrated his power on more than one occassion, and his care-free attitude toward life in general is a calming effect on those near to him.

16. Eric Morgan COACH - He is truly the Captain Morgan of the squad. His raw appetite for the game and competition enhances the level of play by all at least three-fold. He is a sight to be seen on the sideline, where he constantly gets the most from his players. A rabid disc golf player, the entire team is glad he has chosen to focus his tremendous energies on the game of softball.

17. Jon Shea COACH - Jon is the Governor of Southwest Campus, and his duties include attending the games and raising royal hell in support for his team. Frankly, opposing teams cringe at the sight of him, lumbering triumphantly in the dugout, screaming to all those within earshot.