Much like The Final "Hitler and the Holocaust" Class Catch Phrase List, created in 1998 by Jason "Pete" Weston, this is a list of the hilarious quotes that Professor Rodney Patterson has uttered in his Russian 261 Dostoevsky/Tolstoy class in the fall of 2002.
"You can't be good if you can't see evil." (August 30)
"Grannies." (September 4)
"Smile in your face while cutting your throat." (September 4)
"150 people can copulate, while some are murdered." (September 18)
"No erasers in this cheap university." (September 30)
"In an insane world, and you are sane, are you insane?" (September 30)
"...get your dander up." (September 30)
"...repugnant creep." (September 30)
"...happy as clams." (October 2)
"Booze." (October 2)
"Sex, food, money, travel - things like that." (October 9)
"A fop! A dandy!' (October 9)
"When you die, you die. Zero." (October 9)
"Hahahahahahaha...she fell down and had a fit!" (October 9)
"Quite a bit of manuevering space when around that man." (with Heisman Trophy pose) (October 9)
"Where...um...YA." (October 9)
"I'm coming back. I'm going to kill you, you old bastard." (October 9)
"He likes to be thought of as a cad." (October 11)
"I live away...in the mountains." (October 16)
"...so little, so cuddlely." (October 16)
"The whole idea of belief is a pacifier." (October 16)
"So they come and kiss it and pet it." (October 16)
"Maybe because Zossima had a sandwich before he died." (October 16)
"Of course, he's an old timer." (October 18)
"It's no fun to die." (October 21)
"Some of the flagellants got off on it." (October 21)
"...including...Turkey." (October 21)
"By all means,
go ahead. Asshole." (October 21)
"Speaking in front of scholars or the U.N." (October 23)
"I like how your mind works." (October 23)
"Deadly robot." (October 23)
"This is the kind of mind that I want." (October 30)
"So we begin at the...beginning." (October 30)
"They could ride horses on their heads. And could sleep in the saddle." (October 30)
"A quantum leap, if you will." (November 4)
"Automatons!" (November 4)
"Vary the syntactical units." (November 4)
"GREAT CATCH!" (November 6)
"Who knows what diseases he'll bring in." (November 6)
"I'm sorry, madam. I am married." (November 6)
"It is like a kind of catch game." (November 11)
If you're used to money you can marry anyone
you like." (November 11)
"And I must say, it makes me feel pretty nifty." (November 11)
"Men can go out and whore around." (November 11)
"He keeps her pregnant and barefoot." (November 11)
"The Witchcraft religion - which I respect..." (November 11)
"You'll be studying for the rest of your life - unless you have a stroke or something." (November 15)
"He would go straight from church, his legs still hurting, to the bordello." (November 15)
"I'm just bopping around." (November 18)
"You have a frontal lobotomy and the world may look a little rosier." (November 18)
"Kitty has already removed feces." (November 18)
"...because that's something you read about people who have been resuscitated." (November 18)
"Like death. Like a shroud. GET OFF OF ME!" (November 18)
"He also saw some ropes that attracted his gaze sometimes. (November 18)
"...cags and malcreants." (November 18)
"...in a hard road to hoe." (November 18)
"...without the spunkiness of Hester." (November 20)
"...blew off his sternum but missed his heart." (November 20)
"...finger in God's pie upstairs." (November 20)
"My wife isn't making me happy!" (in whiny voice) (November 20)
"Tap, tap tap - and is Leo is in his nightie, and he climbs into bed." (November 20)
"They didn't really understand germs." (November 25)
"They are a bunch of conceited, pompous asses." (November 25)
"...bounding around and frolicing with his mistress." (December 2)
"Here I am - irreplacable Rod Patterson!" (December 2)
"Nobody feels at home with a corpse." (December 2)
"Everywhere you look in the jungle, it's hideous." (December 2)
"Here I am. I will now worship you." (December 2)
"...frolicing and smiling and eating." (December 2)
"Ah yeah, that stiff there - I used to know him." (December 2)
"Here you are, my friends, right there on the table, stinking." (December 2)
"You're not really fixed on his nose." (December 2)
"It's all just charades, right?" (December 2)
"And in her open eye, I saw a dent. The dent of death." (December 6)
"I've never seen an animal so horrified." (December 6)
"There are things that we want to keep private...like our sandbox." (December 6)
"There's no sense in feeding a corpse." (December 6)
"Don't covet your neighbor's ass." (December 6)
"I shouldn't have done that. I'm a rat." (December 6)
"I'm at the age where I don't maky any long term plans." (December 9)
"Let me persue that, because you're a female." (December 9)
"Steady, decent debauchery was good for the marriage." (December 9)
"Sob, sob - dab, dab." (December 9)
"And you're also pretending like the phony that you are." (December 9)
"Well, I know you are a tremendous phony..." (December 9)
"...a real strapping peasant." (December 9)
"...forgot to sign the goddman documents." (December 9)
"Ever since he was a little boy, he loved money." (December 9)
"The left eyebrow twitched and you know who's speaking." (December 9)
"He's nothing but a cowardly cog in the bureaucracy." (December 9)
"Mealy-mouthed...dishrag." (December 9)
"Masterbation is the way to insanity and hairy hands." (December 9)
"One should have commerce with one's wife no more than once a month." (December 9)
"For of all, I have to go and beg for it." (December 11)
"I had a testy exchange." (December 11)
"The protagonist...is such a male." (December 11)
"...all these things that make us good and dreamy." (December 11)
"I'll have a smoke." (December 11)
"People who kill do that." (December 11)
"He's familiar with her corset." (December 11)
"He's so full of testosterone...he's nuts." (December 11)
"Women are the biggest bogies." (December 11)