The New Premiership Season
by "Pistol" Pete Repka

The big news this week is the start of a new Premiership season and what a season it promises to be.

Now for those of you sitting comfortably and wondering what this barmy limey is going on about, bear with me a second and all shall become clear. You are probably aware of a sport that non U.S. citizens refer to as "football", but you lovable American rogues choose to call "soccer". You guys have your own version of Football and if by some bizarre chance you're not a fan of what we imaginatively refer to as "American football", either sit down to some Monday Night Football when the season starts up soon or go rent "Any Given Sunday", which I recently saw for the third time. Al Pacino getting angry, Cameron Diaz getting stitched up like a kipper, and a third string quarterback puking over his shoes as he calls the plays. Directed by Oliver Stone, it's a classic film with a great soundtrack which should be watched often.

The same cannot be said of the decidedly suspect "Varsity Blues" which starts James "Dawson's Creek" Van der Beek and Jon Voight. It contains some of the dodgiest and unlikeliest plays ever featured and you'll be yelling at the screen in sheer annoyance, especially at the play involving five receivers and the one where they pass it to the tubby Billy-Bob so he can have a chance at scoring. Oh and goody twoshoes Dawson turns down the chance to get frisky with some blonde chick clad in only a whipped cream bikini.

There's also the slapstick-filled "Waterboy" which features Adam Sandler getting angry and an aging Henry Winkler (The Fonz) with a tattoo of Roy Orbison on his ass...

But, I digress.

Tis is supposed to be an article about soccer, not films about football. So anyway...

Back in 1994, the U.S. hosted the World Cup; this is unlike the baseball World Series in that it is an event that actually involves lots of countries from around the "World" (32 to be precise). FIFA decided to hold the '94 World Cup in the U.S. in the hope that it would help your own domestic soccer league to flourish. The U.S. Domestic Soccer League being the MLS, or Major League Soccer. The trouble is, you already have 4 major sporting leagues vying for your attention,. (NFL, NBA, NHL, MLB) not to mention college sports, (Football and Basketball, and probably hockey - I dunno. It's a very big pond, and this reporter has done very little research into this article) so MLS has never really taken off and attracted the audiences people had hoped.

So to sum up, soccer is a huge sport watched and enjoyed by millions of people in countries around the world. Now the big soccer leagues are in Europe. There's the Spanish Primera Liga with teams including Real Madrid, Barcelona, and Valencia. There's the Italian Serie A with Inter Milan, AC Milan, Juventus, Lazio & Roma. There's the German Bundesliga with Bayern Munich, Borrissia Dortmund, and Bayern Leverkusern (and a player called Kuntz - ho ho ho). Last but certainly not least, the English Premier League, including Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea (or "Chelski", since their recent take-over by a Russian oil billionaire) Liverpool, Newcastle United, Everton and the recently promoted Portsmouth and the amusingly labelled Wolverhampton Wanderers. The Premiership is arguably the most exciting league (I say arguably, because the Spanish league is pretty cool too) and so the start of a new season means every Saturday from now until next May will involve waking up and watching 2 hours of chat and reviewing last week's games at noon, then at around 10pm watching or videoing an hour and a half summary of the days games - heaven. The top clubs from the above mentioned leagues, (as well as the French, Greek, Dutch and a few others) all play fortnightly on Tuesdays and Wednesdays in the Champions League which is flooded with cash, and is a great spectacle, and I'm led to believe gets some good TV figures over your side of the pond.

And if you're thinking, "that's fine and dandy, but Europe's over there, and we're over here - soccer doesn't matter to me" I'd like to draw to your attention to the USA Soccer team doing quite well at the recent 2002 World Cup and reaching the quarterfinals. The Women's USA soccer team won the women's World Cup back in 1999 to much rejoicing and their success was followed up with glamorous photo shoots in Sports Illustrated. Soccer is also the largest under-16 participation sport by American teens, recently beating even basketball as the sport of choice by American youth. There are also several American goalies playing in the Premiership: Kasey Keller, Brad Freidel, (voted Goalkeeper of the Season by his peers) and now Man United have bought Tim Howard. Manchester United are continuing their appreciation of U.S. players by chasing 14 year old wonderkid Freddy Adu. No idea who this guy is? Stop reading about Kobe Bryant and check out your local sports pages for soccer-related nuggests of info. Manchester United have also just finished a pre-season promotional tour of the U.S. where they played Celtic (from Scotland) in Seattle, Club Mexico (from Mexico) in LA, and Barcelona (from Spain) in Philadelphia. They are generally about as hated as the New York Yankees because they keep winning everything, but do play cracking football which is a joy to the neutral.

So go on and renew that cable hook-up. Grab yourself a beer or 13 and sit down in front of the TV and flick on to a game. Make sure you ease your way in with a game involving one of the big 5 (Man U, Arsenal, Liverpool, Chelsea, Newcastle United) and you're sure to see some goals and a maybe even the occasional sending off or 2 (there were a number over the weekend - two of which were in the Arsenal-Everton game). You might even surprise yourself, and if you do get into the spirit of things, the Champions League starts up soon as well. Four of the big 5 are involved and will be battling for European supremacy and the glory of being the best club team in Europe. It should be a scorching season.

'Til next time,
"Pistol" Pete Repka