Camp Fungus Eyewitness Account
by Gabe Scanga

It began with a phone call; but what eventually unfolded becamse the foundation for the greatest story ever told. Well, not really, but it was the best god damn time of my entire life, and without a doubt the most fun I had all freshman year of college.

When Robert "The Bob" Bedford dialed my phone number that Thursday evening I didn't think we could put all the players together in time for the big game. Friday night was spent frantically searching for all the necessary "eqipment" for the operation; gathering funds, and wheeling and dealing. Saturday afternoon, at 2:30pm, we were rapidly approaching H-Hour on D-Day...yet we still were missing the key element of the assault.

At 5:30pm, with 30 minutes to go before the game, I received a phone call from the guy I'll call Cory. He told me he was on his way to my place with the fifth element, the Golden Enchilada, the Whole Fuckin' Show. By 6pm, I had acquired the goods. We came in $15 under budget, and spirits were high.

The pre-assualt briefing occured at 264 Western Ave, where "Diamond" Dave Totten, Mikey "I Like Mine With Peanut Butter and Jelly" Rich, Josh "'Da Funniest" Oryhon, Brian "JoshO Is 'Da Funniest" Flanagan, Bobby "The Man Who Made This All Possible" Bedford, "Big Gay" Dan Colantuoni, Jeff "The Toughest SOB I Know" Ross and I gathered. This is when I learned that Dan "Gabe's Gonna Be There And Ruin My Trip" Baker wouldn't be joining us. Aww, boo hoo, I guess I'll just have to eat his then.

That big loss behind us, we set out. Beer was purchased, along with peanut butter and jelly, bread, popcorn, orange juice and Twizzlers.

Upon arrival, we all geared up for the initial assualt. Mine was made right up the middle, no surprises or funny stuff. Mikey made PBJ sandwiches for later.

After 2 or 3 pipes, I ws getting ready to go into battle. As we all decided to to venture out in the woods and make final assault, a vampire bat attacked us on our way throuh the brush. We entered a large clearing and when the fog of war took over. The ensuing battle lasted 12-14 hours. Highlights included watching a non-existent, yet startingly vivid fireworks display in the night sky with Bobby, and smoking a pack of cigs in less than a hour. Upon returning from battle to the safety of base camp, we discovered a loaded glass piece cold and ready to rip. Afterwards, I only have spotty memory of the evening.

Key Words Of Interest: Robster Craws, Pink Ski Jacket, Octopuss Hats and Submarine Basements. And just to clarify, the copy of 'High Times' belonged to Diamond and I, and not Bob's parents.

When we arrived back inside, Oryhon and Flanagan launched into the historic battle to see who was "'Da Funniest, Yo". It was an argument/discussion/running gag. This lasted for much longer than anyone realized, and it never got old. That said and done, all I remember is BGD asking me why the fireplace was telling him to follow theWhite Rabbit down the wormhole. This was followed by the most intense game ogf hackey sack ever.

To bring things into perspective for you, this single evening goes on my list of the best times ever in recorded history. To all the boys who made this what it became, you guys are the shit, and are also all ridiculous. Thank you for all we've been through, because without it I don't know where I'd be right now...wait a minute...I don't even know where I am righth now...fuck me!

Snootchie Bootchies, Snoogans...BONNNNNNNNNNNK!

Respectfully submitted,
Gabe Scanga