IM Etiquette

IM Etiquette
by Hakage the Ninja

PDA.
NO PDA. That can't be stressed enough. It gets far too giggly and pink. They have Hallmark stores where I can read that, I don't need it at home.

Smileys.
Use smileys sparingly. If you feel that a smiley is the only way to convey the proper emotion, then by all means use one, but a picture like that is not worth a thousand words. It's barely worth ten.

Capitalization.
An entire conversation in lowercase? Come on, that's just laziness. Only do so if speed is an issue but it shouldn't be after you read this list. The Shift key is a thumb space away.

Openings.
A polite "Hi" or "Hello, [first name or last name]". Beginnings of conversations can be abrupt, it's true. Try to adjust to that, then state the proper hello. A good actor always says "Yes" to improvisational situations. But do not act random out of the blue unless it is a trait of yours, it may force a conversation and that can be unwelcome. Stick to the good old H to the I.

Bombarding.
Unless it's some sort of joke or prank, don't leave more than two consecutive messages for someone who you know is away. The same goes for if you're talking to someone and they don't respond right away. They may be otherwise occupied. There is no reason for "Hi!", then five seconds later "Hello?", then "Anybody home?!". This elevates into ridiculousness and you'll only lose the other person's respect. And they will want to ninja-kick you.

Bad Timing.
If someone sends you an IM and you're about to leave, tell him or her you're doing so. Don't sign off abruptly, that's just plain rude. Also, if you get an IM from someone you'd just rather not talk to, do not ignore him or her. Give them an excuse if you must. Chances are, though, if they're on your list, you must've had one or two "good conversations" with them. Consistently ignoring them may tatter the acquaintanceship you two have had. I would not address this, however, if I were not guilty of it myself.

Closing.
A proper closing is expected. Let the other know you are signing off for whatever reason and let them respond with well wishes or what have you. If, however, they do not give any sign that they wish you "Good luck" or "Good night", sign off after one minute has passed. One minute is ample time given to end an online conversation.

Speed.
Not all of us type at the same speed. Sometimes it takes a moment, others could take half a minute. Don't bombard anyone with text, it insults his or her IM ability. One should not take too long either, chances are the other person has at least one more conversation going on and if you take too long, s/he may forget about you. There is a middle ground we should strive for as Instant Messengers. Patience is required for the fast typists, practice for the slow.

"Messenge".
Just as another note, do not turn "Messenge" into a word. I've heard the phrase "I got your Instant Messenge last night..." and similar nonsense. I too have been guilty of this sin, a fact of which I am ashamed. Unless you are using that phrase as a wry comment on President Bush's speech foibles, say "Instant Message" when you use an "Instant Messenger".

Spelling.
Spelling, people. I cannot stress this enough. We are high school graduates for the most part, many of my friends have indeed attended college, whether part-time or full-time. At this point, we should be able to spell basic words. If you are uncertain, IMs now have a spellchecker. Use it in cases of uncertainty. If you need to correct something, such as "hye" when you meant "hey", just type it in afterward. And do NOT shorten words like "You" to "u" or "be" to "b". That's really not proper and makes you look simple-minded. Whoever started that laziness craze should be fought and defeated.

Over-emotion.
Do not pour out emotion over an IM. If you feel a need to pour out your emotions, keep in mind you may not express them well through text. This may make the other person feel awkward and it forces them to be your emotional crutch. If you need to talk, do so over the phone or in person. IMs limit emotional capacity since one cannot hear any inflection or tone in voice. This leaves the receiver nearly void of sympathy and does nothing to help either of you.

Abbreviations.
This is tricky. Sometimes they save time, but being the practiced typists we are, it can't take much longer to type "Talk to you later" than it can "ttyl". Others, such as "OMG" and "NFW" should only be used for comic purposes. Do not overdo it on them, though, it's simply annoying and shows a lack of interest in the conversation. "LOL" is perhaps the only acceptable one since it is the only abbreviation that expresses one being amused. An exclamation point at the end would emphasize the point that you were truly amused. "Hahahahaha"... it's acceptable, but seems to degrade laughter to onomatopoeia, making it detached. Again, an exclamation point comes in handy. Perhaps just typing "Ha!" would exclaim amusement. That remains a work in progress.

Punctuation.
It would be wonderful to see a world where periods ended every sentence. That will never be the case, however. That's just OCD talking. However, be aware of the emotions expressed through punctuation: ! expresses excitement, amusement, or shock.
? expresses puzzlement, uncertainty, or query.
?! combines the two, forming utter disbelief.
... (ellipses) express impatience, silent anger, thoughtfulness, or continuation.
...? can be used when one is taking too long to answer your question or perhaps to see if they are even paying attention. It seems curt, but it's far more polite than "Hello?" or "Well?". Don't be excessive on punctuation, however. There's no need for "So, did you find out ??????????????". Preposterous.

Self-Expression.
IMs are our creative conversational tools. We are all imaginative to some degree. Using different colors, different fonts, off-color words and bizarre comedy can be fun. How we type is who we are and these rules are not meant to dissuade that creativity, but rather to express how one could be more polite. However, there is no need to be too extravagant. Having a font with too much flair that is barely readable will cause confusion on one end and aggravation on the other. Also, mixing op-art colors is impolite.

This is an example of good and bad creativity:

I Rock At IMs: Hi there! (This is a good example, the person chose a different font and added a different color to make his unique, as well as punctuation)
I Stink At IMs: hey!!!!!! u therre?!!?!?!?! (This is a bad example, the person here has used a loud and obnoxious color along with a barely readable font. Note also the excessive punctuation and misspelling. Quite frustrating.)

So there you have it. I'm sure there are other issues that need to be discussed, but these suffice for now. Let's get over one hill at a time, people.

Respectfully submitted,
Hakage the Ninja