This week's winner was submitted by Robert "The Bob" Bedford:

WILL WORK FOR BETTER WARDROBE (see reverse for "Will Suck Dick for Crack ...or Best Offer)

"Corky finally graduates the 2nd grade"
or
"Look ma... I got arrested!"
or
"Thanks to the correspondence school Little Ricky is finally a neuro-surgen"
-Matt Bruno

"That's right kids ...she's aaaaaaaaaall mine. Just came in from Russia and EVERYTHING!"
or
"Look Ma, I can actually afford to bail myself out now, and you said I'd never learn to save money!"
-Nicole Edmonds

"Realtor Joan Flansburgh looks on as The Rick proudly displays the deed to yet another City Hall"
or
"The Rick shows his diploma from the City of Albany Kwik Weight Gain course"
-The Rick