The Clever Choice

As another public service, this section has been established to bring to light certain items, events, people or whathaveyou that deserve recognition in the Webmaster's eyes. What, you might ask, gives the Webmaster the right to shove this propaganda down your throat? Nothing, he replies, it's just he just wants to share with you the groovy stuff he is digging now. And you may say, what makes you think that I will like this stuff, even if I do happen to read on? And he will will reply, forget I even said anything.

If you're still reading, kudos - check out these things. You may notice that these items of interest may be referenced in other sections, but for the sake of continuity, they are all catalogued here, with explanations as to why they are oh so sweet.

Items will be added piecemeal, as they come to me.

August 22, 2003
-Manscaping. If you are menaced by thick, unsightly chest hair, get a beard trimmer and tame that jungle. We heard this tactic from a hairy gentleman. We never tried it. We don't even have a hairy chest...not that there's anything wrong with a hairy chest. We're just saying...

I guess...

...that IF you have a hairy chest (a perfectly normal thing), and that's a big IF, it's ok to trim it down. That's all.

August 21, 2003
-Wangs. This title has been borrowed from Gabe Sganga (the man with many Gs in his name), and has been introduced into the vernacular as a batch of particularly delicious chicken wings. When an amazing wing has been consumed, the consumer may utilize this word to set this wang apart from the myriad of other lesser varieties of wings in the world.

August 20, 2003
-The Future of Rap. Chris Wierzbowski initially introduced the Page to the lyrical skills of Sage Francis, an underground rapper from Woonsocket, RI. During the summer of 2003, Chris upped the ante by donating a collection of albums from other artists similar to Sage. Some of these groups include: Brother Ali, Atmosphere, Oddjobs, Aesop Rock and eyeDEA. Now you may ask, "what is underground rap, Josh?" And then I say, "Well dudes, it's all good, son. And now I am gonna spit it like my skin color dictates...". And then you're puzzled. So I say, Underground Rap, or at least these lyrical prophets focus on the rap game as Art, as opposed to mainstream rappers, who blab about money, how great they are, killing and the degradation of women. These undergroup groups often fund the release of their own albums, and stay away from the corporate aspect of the business. The results are incredible. The lyrics cover all sorts of topics from love to the task of getting up in the morning, etc. etc. The beat are also madd tizzy. These groups are a must for any intellectual rap fan.

April 27, 2003
-The Paul Herbig Virtual Dorm Room. This website was created and is maintained by one of the finest creative minds I have ever come across in my substantial travels. Paul "Eugene" Herbig is a young hotshot writer and many of his compositions are Absurdist in nature, which is right up clevercitizen.com's alley. And it ought to be up yours. No, but seriously folks, Paul's website is worth a perusal - if you like this one, you'll like that one, even though they are completely different. And if you don't like this one - you can rot.

April 14, 2003
-Top 10 Rock Voices of All Time (in no particular order)
Steve Perry (Journey)
Brent Mydland (Grateful Dead)
Warren Haynes (Gov't Mule/Phil and Friends)
Linda Ronstadt (solo)
Pat Benatar (solo)
Bobby Weir (Grateful Dead, Ratdog)
Thom Yorke (Radiohead)
The dude who sang "Make Me Smile" from Chicago
Mike McDonald (Doobie Brothers)
Beck (solo)
Bruce Springsteen

February 24, 2003
-The List of All Time Best Drummers. In no particular order:
Topper Headon (The Clash)
Mitch Mitchell (Jimi Hendrix Experience)
Keith Moon (The Who)
Levon Helm (The Band)
Phil Selway (Radiohead)

October 20, 2002
-The Machine at Sadie's. Voted by some as the best bartender in Albany (and believe us, we've seen some), The Machine (aka Mark) is an absolute wonder behind the bar. He does not waste a single body movement, and all his manuevers are done in a quick and precise fashion. Everything action he undertakes has a purpose. The Machine begins his shift at 7pm on Fridays, so you can attend Happy Hour and then view the hardest-working man in the Albany drinking business. Don't forget to tip...

October 19, 2002
-Albums That You Cannot Live Without. As another public service, a list has been composed that catalogues the best all-around albums of all-time. All of the albums on this list have amazing tracks from top to bottom, and there are no weak spots. Greatest Hits compositions are not valid, as they were not the album released by the artist all at once.

October 17, 2002
-"He Got Game". Flanny and I really enjoy this motion picture. Tt is definitely in the Top 10 of "Unintentional Comedy Movies" off all time. Directed by the king of Unintentional Comedy movies - Spike Lee - it stars my man Denzel Washington as the convicted killer father of the number one basketball prospect in America Jesus Shuttlesworth, played by Ray Allen. But what is so amazing about this movie, aside from the unexpected comedy and hilarious quotes - is the drinking game you can play while watching it.

The Rules:
-First purchase tons of beer
-Assemble a gang of your friends
-Consume a drink of beer whenever the name "Jesus" is mentioned.

If you follow these rules as stated above, not only will you laugh uproarously at the antics of Jake, Jesus, LaLa, Uncle Buster, Sweetness and Big Time Willy, you will probably be rather intoxicated, provided you can keep up.

April 28, 2002
-Grammar. It seems that in this age of Instant Messager and widespread use of email, less and less importance has been associated with grammar and spelling. It is now en vogue to spell the word "you" as "u", and refer to all the "your"s or "there"s as one (For those of you who don't know, there are multiple forms of each word that all have different meanings). It is really unfortunate that children who are coming of age today may learn to spell the word "love" as "luv". Teachers can try and instill proper use of spelling and punctuation during the hours of the school day, but kids will still come and type the following sentence out:
"yo i am gonna come to yur house when your their"

April 4, 2002
-Bob Weir. Bob Weir played rhythm guitar for the Grateful Dead and was always faced with the distinction as being second-best to Jerry Garcia. Jerry himself called Bobby his "right hand". It is high time that people recognize Bobby as being more than just one hand in the Grateful Dead. Bobby was responsible for laying down tight-ass rhythm parts and singing some of the best Dead songs, including: Black-Throated Wind, Saint of Circumstance, Estimated Prophet, Music Never Stopped, Looks Like Rain, Lost Sailor, New Minglewood Blues, Me And My Uncle, The Other One, Weather Report Suite, Let It Grow, Victim Or The Crime, Sugar Magnolia, Sampson and Deliliah, Greatest Story Ever Told. Too often do people completely overlook Bobby, who is playing with his band Rat Dog now, and focus on only Jerry. Jerry could rock a solo on the guitar, but through the 80s his voice and playing suffered due to his heavy drug usage. Who picked up the slack? Yeah, you know it - Bobby Weir.

April 2, 2002
-Kurt Rambis. Kurt Rambis played mainly for the NBA's Los Angeles Lakers of the 1980s where he won a bunch of chapionships. Wearing Nerd Rock glasses before they were "cool", Kurt Rambis thought nothing of diving on the ground for a loose ball, or playing stifling defense. He was my inspiration when playing hoops, and I take his lessons with me to this very day. Not flashy, but a hard worker, Kurt Rambis was The Man.

-The Blue Man Group. Laryssa Sadoway called me up one day in during the summer of 2000 and asked me if I wanted to help out at the Blue Man Group shows in Boston. I asked what the Blue Man Group was and she replied that I would have to see it to believe it. After seeing the show, I am still speechless about what I saw. It was a concoction of the most clever, daring, hilarious and soically-attacking ingredients I have ever seen mixed together.

-Yuengling Beer. It is hard work teaching kids the proper way to play sports in the hot sun of the summer. After preaching all day and lamenting the fact that you can't teach hustle, sometimes you need to head to the Brackney and crack a dollar can of Yuengling. Now available in the Albany region.

February 19, 2002
-Junior Hockey Bible. This is a vocabulary list that is a MUST for any hockey player of any level. It provides the term, an explanation of the term and also clues as how to use the term. Memorize the list and watch your vocabulary grow and instantly become more colorful. The site has expanded to include more than just the Bible but other hilarious contests and pictures. ***NOTE: Due to graphic content, this section is designed for adults over the age of 18***

Pre-February 18, 2002
-Pikkardiyska Tercia. Their music is contained on this Page, under the Music section. When you hear the genre a cappella, you usually think something wack. However, upon further listen to this quintet from Ukraine, you may totally get down with it. You may not understand a word at all, but the harmonies and melodies are completely tight. Check out track 10 on "Ya Pridumayu Svit" aka "The Sha La La Song", which might be happiest song ever recorded.