Corky's Tavern and Susquehanna Yacht Club

JoshO's Note: Don't be fooled. Don't be fooled at all - although it resides near the river, we have never seen a yacht, or anything remotely near a yacht near Corky's. What we have seen at Corky's is stuff of legends. Don't forget, there's an entire section devoted to the mastermind behind the phenonemon of Corky's - Willy Harder. There are many stories of nights at Corky's there, and we will reference them throughout. You can view this section here.

Analysis: There are so many factors that contribute to making this place great. I must admit that I am having a tough time organizing my ideas into a coherent and thoughtful article, but I will persevere. From the first time that we walked through the door, we were confronted with the two major pillars of the Corky's Experience - Willy Harder and Fear.

As it's mentioned in the Willy Section, Willy and I grew up in the loving bosom of St. John the Baptist Ukrainian Orthodox church in Johnson City, NY. We kept up relations and once we had graduated high school our only means of communcation were trips to Corky's. From the first time Jason "Pete" Weston and I walked through those doors, we were given free booze. Willy has given us the hook-up lots of times; free shots, free pitchers, free pizza on many a night, so this is a major point in the favor of the place. At least if you show up with us.

But on the other hand, the people who frequent this bar make the ugly table in "The Weddning Singer" look like the cast of "Beverly Hills 90210". We shot darts against people ranging from The Dude in "The Big Lebowski" to a white trash lady with teeth that would make an Englishman proud. We ran into a Vietnam veteran who talked politics for hours. There's usually a smattering of people representing The Gang Element, but they leave our suburban asses alone, and we don't mind their winter coats in the middle of May. All in all, it's an interesting subsection of society with many different socio-economic groups being present. You would almost expect an Eskimo complete with harpoon to walk through the door at any time. Peace Co-existance, much like the USA and USSR during the latter half of the Twentieth century, is the vibe, and everyone is united in the common goal - getting bombed.

The locale of this bar leaves much to be desired. Although we assume it's safe, it's not really a posh area. Nestled near the river, and beyond Crowley's Diary, Corky's is on the part of Conklin Ave. that is a sort of mini-strip. Raymo's 1 (Raymo's 2 took over for MJ's....SNIFF) and some other bars are on this street, but nothing major. Parking is not all that great, and sometimes when parking the Sokker Mom Mobile people must get out and guide.

The prices of Corky's really aren't that bad. Obviously when we're getting stuff for free, we're certain;y not complaining. Pitchers are comparably priced to any other booze joint, and the darts are free.

Speaking of darts, the beer sports are good. The pool table (where Jason "El Presidente" Fedish and "Tennessee" Cal Heinle routinely hustle) is a nice one, and there are two dart boards with lights above. There is a dry-erase score board, which is a great feature.

There are three televisions, two above the bar and a big screen one at the end of it. Sports are usually on, unless Willy's mom is losing to me in Jeopardy!. Though there is a jukebox, most of the tunes are taken from 99.1 WAAL, which is a classic rock station, for all of you non-Binghamtonians. Willy and his friends play Name That Tune at the beginning of every song, but they usually lost to us.

The food is great, provided the kitchen is open. Willy once gave us an entire pizza at the end of a night. That was marvelous. Then he went and smoked a dub at the end of the bar.

Corky's is also the place where Willy asked me to be in his wedding party, and also the place where he did NOT ask me to be godfather to any of his two children. In the words of ChrisO "Didn't he ever hear of pulling out?". Both instances ended with shots of HotDamn! being taken.

Rating: For the amount of good times spent there, I would have to say that Corky's receives 4.999999999999999999999 out of 5 Irish Car Bombs. Once again, nothing quite compares to MJ's, which has a long and storied history behind it (I am still pissed at Weston for giving The Northern Lights a rating equal to MJ's, but whatever). This rating is bittersweet, as Willy does not work there at Corky's any more. Much of the luster that this bar possesses has been lost as a result.