CFJ Pub

-no picture available-

Analysis: Although Jason "Pete" Weston may disagree, I have had the unfortunate luck to attend this hole in the wall twice. And that's twice too many. In the summer of 2001, I had heard that the CFJ Pub had karaoke, and since my crew and I were in our "Karaoke Stage", we figured that the CFJ Pub would be a good place to venture on Wednesday nights.

This alcohol-serving hellride is located on the Northside JC Strip - CFJ Boulevard - right across the street from the CFJ Park (catch the theme here?). Northside JC Strip includes the Sobiech-owned Red's Kettle Inn, CFJ Pub and Northern Lights. It's no Las Vegas Strip, but there are plenty of opportunities to get shitty and then go for a ride on the swings after a night out. Or maybe meet Bob, from Jamaica Queens...

So anyway, we decided to head to the CFJ Pub on a Wednesday night for some karaoke and some booze. Most of the characters we rolled with were underage, so preparations had to be made. From my recollection, IDs were generally not needed, so everyone was served. Cheap booze was on the menu, which was nice. We had a fairly significant crew, and we basically took up the entire place. There were about five other people there for karaoke, and no more showed up during the night.

We basically could entertain ourselves with our renditions of songs, and then laugh at the white trash representatives as they crooned "Knockin' on Heaven's Door".

For all intents and purposes, we rocked out. Keith "Kansas City" Hannon wowed the audience with a very Tony Clifton-esque "I Will Survive", Jason "Meat" Donlin and I performed the punk rock staple "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" by The Clash. We definitely did some more songs, but I can't really remember what they were. I think one of them was "Beginnings" by Chicago.

All in all we had a fantastic night. One of the most memorable of our many and sordid nights out. So good, that we spread the word for an entire week, putting forth the word about how cool CFJ Pub was on Wednesday nights.

The next Wednesday rolled around, and we were poised with at least twenty people ready to rock and roll. As we approached, the dickheads inside, mostly likely Neanderthal relatives of Ruthie Sobiech (who is rather a peach, by comparison) enacted a clampdown on the proceedings. None of us would be let in without flawless identification - completely wack-ass shit that I didn't want to hear. We figured that the white-trash-American-Idol-wannabe-shitbags were upset that we came in and stole the show the week prior. They most likely created a stink and thus we were not let in.

Since I was one of the only real flesh and blood 21 year olds, I had to rally the troops to figure something else out. I think we went to go see "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back" in the theaters, which all the girls hated. But fuck them, because we paid for their flippin' tickets!

Rating: I fucking hate this joint. You try and and raise the bar of a shitbox by bringing some more people (with MONEY) to have a good time....AND THIS IS HOW THEY REPAY YOU?! Much like James Van Derbeek in "Varsity Blues"..."Fuck that. I say 'fuck that'". We had the chance to karaoke like Gods, and we weren't allowed to. AND, I wasted 99 cents on the Hurricane 40oz that I bought from the Giant Supermarket on Harry L. Drive. So, this goes out to the CFJ Pub: YOU'LL NEVER HAVE US AGAIN, YOU FUCKERS! WE WERE GOING TO ROCK OUT TO GREAT SONGS AND ENTERTAIN AND LEAVE BIG TIPS AND CLEAN UP AFTER OURSELVES, BUT YOU FASCIST JC FUCKS RUINED IT! NEVER AGAIN! YOUR FAT-ASS KARAOKE LADY CAN SHOVE A MICSTAND RIGHT UP HER COTTAGE CHEESE ASSHOLE!". I give the CFJ Pub 1 out of 5 Irish Car Bombs, for one reason and one reason only - we did have a blast that first week, too bad an entire summer's worth of karaoke fun was ruined. See you in hell, ball-lickers.