The Northern Lights

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Weston's Note: Is it just a klever name? With the inspiration of ChrisO's return to the Page in this section, I felt that it was indeed time for me to rear my large cranium at the Page once again, to comment on a place that I like to go and get boozed up, and I'm bringing you all along with me.

Analysis: Formerly Lubner's, a dingy bar known to all the local crack heads, the Northern Lights is located on CFJ Blvd, Johnson City, NY 13790, right across from the CFJ Carousel, and next door to Sobiech-owned Red's Kettle Inn. Upon first looking at the joint, it's a crackhouse, but it's a different vibe inside. With wood paneling, and an upper bar, it seems nice but small. Journey your bones to the back, and you will find another huge back room, fitted with six dart boards, a pool table, a video golf , pinball, Magic Touch and a decent jukebox (the jukebox is missing many jukebox staples of the MJ's Era, including Sublime and The Beatles, most importantly).

At $1.50 a pint, the beer is cheapo, and the ladies that tend to the tavern are most hot indeed. You can stop in most nights and find Rob, Ruthy and I bellied up to the bar, or outside sparking a tube. It's that kind of joint. With a good friend upstairs, and since I frequent the bar so much, I know everyone's name, it's MJ's Part II: The Legal Version. Note that this establishment has brought recent visits by none other than Jarrod, Donlin (that's where he's hiding - I think he's passed out under the pool table), Officer Bailey, and your own webmaster. The latter and I enjoyed a fine AFTERNOON of drinking last time he was home. That night was also the "flat cigarette night" of local fame. I dropped my cigs in the road on a race across Airport Rd, and didn't realize I did until a half an hour later. Upon returning to the scene, I found them in the road - flattened - but whole. I did my promised jig of victory, and we returned to the bar to watch rednecks play horseshoes. Huzzah for all in the Bingo area, I suggest you check it out, and try the alligator or ostrich jerkey. Donlin wants baby seal jerky, but they won't let him have it.

The only night to avoid is Sunday - hot bartender, but raver music all night...unless you like that shit. And if you do, don't come down, we don't need your kind...bring chicks...

Rating: I give the Northern Lights five out of five Irish Car Bombs, with points deducted for shoddy Shannon Silvanic bartending, but bonus points for the walkhomeability.