The Brackney Inn

JoshO's Note: Jason "Meat" Donlin was originally supposed to submit work for this section, but ChrisO got into the mixx, so I figured that I would also give it a whirl.

Analysis: Nestled just south of the New York-Pennsylvania border, The Brackey Inn is a lighthouse that calls out in earnest for the lost sailor out on the ocean. Many factors add up to why this place is one of the best all-around boozin' holes that I have ever seen. For starters, this joint is a HICK BAR...yes, you heard me right - a hick bar. The normal role call of vehicles reads something like this: motorcycle, motorcycle, pick up truck, pick up truck, pick up truck, motorcycle, motorcycle, Camp Susquehannock minivan, motorcycle, pick up truck. And repeat.

The locals at this bar, hickish as though they may be, aren't militant at all. They peacefully coexist with the young, hipster crowd that sometimes assembles. During the summers, though it depends on what night of the week it is, there are 75% rugged individualists and 25% Camp Susquehannock staff. This trend was slightly altered this past summer, as the addition of a local young cat's band drew more young people. The nights that the band played were ok, although they did not play "Terrapin Station" as Dan Logue and I had hoped. All in all, the band was a decent one, but there were better times to be had at the Brackney.

"Good Times" at the Brackney usually revolve around one of the following: darts on the wack-ass dart board, shuffleboard, impromptu Ukrainian dancing, pool, country line dancing on Thursday nights, or playing "Bootylicious" by Destiny's Child on the jukebox at the height of hick presence. The Handshake was known to take place there, and we have the pictures to prove it.

But what sets apart the Brackey from other bars, at least in the past, was Yuengling beer on tap. Once voted the official beer of clevercitizen.com, Yuengling is on its way to taking the world by storm. Major inroads have been made in the Northeast, and you can now enjoy a cold Yuengling at many watering holes. We pray that this tradition continues. But anway, back at the Brackney, on certain nights the special would be dollar cans of Yuengling, and that was a marvelous thing. Shots and mixed drinks are reasonably priced as well, so you can get plenty shitty for only a few beans.

The Brackney Inn also posseses a kitchen, which the good folks there use to prepare food in. By the time we usually rolled in the kitchen was usually closed, but there were a few times that food was ordered. Although not as good as Sadie's (in Albany) or Corky's (in BingO), you could get by on the cuisine. However, if you ever have the misfortune of attending the all-you-can-eat buffet, for the love of all that is sacred and holy, stay away from it. Don't say we didn't warn you.

The X-Factor of this joint would be the people that one can see on a particular night. Of particular interest to me, would be the chance of seeing either Mike Cooke, Sr. (father of Mike Cooke of Johnson City High School basketball and Hanging Naked From the Goalpost During a Bomb Threat fame) or Jerry "Vietnam" Donlin (father to Krack Staff Komrade Jason "Meat" Donlin). Seeing either of these fellows immediately sets the night off on a fever pitch.

I heartily invite you to take a ride down to Brackney and hit up the Inn. Spend 15 bucks, get trounced, and then go for a swim in Silver Lake at like 12:55am. And if you don't have the 15 bucks, buy two fortys at the Giant on Pennsylvania Ave in BingO, sit in the parking lot and talk about religion and Ukrainian acapella music. You'll be a better person for doing so...

Rating: For the cheap booze, the ambivance, the country line dancing, the hicks, and free darts I give the Brackney a 4.12 out of 5 Irish Car Bombs. The only detracting points would be the less-than-quality food, and lack of a good Grateful Dead cd in the jukebox. And giving a 5 out of 5 Irish Car Bombs would set the Brackney on par with MJ's, which is the gold standard for boozing joints.