Q: Shawn Bates hasn't paid his rent in two months. Yesterday Shawn Bates spent all of his money on a night at a local tavern. Shawn Bates is home alone one afternoon and Shawn Bates's landlord shows up for the rent check. What Would Shawn Bates Do?

A: "Shawn Bates takes a deep cooling sigh and enlightens,
'First thing's f%*king last: In this bold new world we're entering landlords, such as yourself, are soon to grow utterly obsolete. You're going to need friends in high places, Mr. O'Henry. You're gonna need friends like scrappy young Islander forward Shawn Bates. In short, get out of my living room because I could buy you and sell you like I'm Mr. f%*king Monopoly."
(submitted by Tim Clancy)