Week Eighty-Four - "Who that you know is most likely to be a Taliban sympathizer, and why?"

"Darryl Jenson and Ned Clark, that hippy-dippy wannabe with a trust fund."
-Anonymous

"Erin Micha, because she's a communist. Bob Gilman, because someone that doesn't leave their room ever is hiding something."
-Keith "Well Endowed" Hannon

"Lauren 'Bucktooth-Bitch-I've-lived-in-Chicago'...She probably lived in Kabul, too."
-Flyn & Jessie

"The guy that try-out out last year for hockey and practiced twice but left because he had to seek his calling as a pizza boy."
-Anonymous

"Matt GDovin (make sure you capitalize the "D") not only sympathizes, but BELONGS to the Taliban... All the tell-tale signs are there, I can't belive I am the first to see them. HINT 1: His last name... Sounds Middle Eastern to me... HINT 2: Mad skinny... and we all know very well that people living on that side of the world often suffer from malnutrition. HINT 3: He's a loser... HINT 4: Check out the skin tone... Its almost too white to really be white so this is obviously a bad make-up job in his disguise. HINT 5: His bro endorses "The Rock" brand basketballs... Other than sand, what does that part of the world have a plethora of? ROCKS, beeyaacchhh... HINT 6: The fam has mad loot. Obviously his dogg Osama gave him so dough to live here, and with the exchange he probably made out like a bandit... The only part I can't figure out is how he learned how to play basketball... and play it fairly well... Hmmm... Oh well... find him, hate him..."
-ChrisO

"O.J Simpson...He is the only person that I know that can kill so many people so obviously and get away with it.. or a tleast have somebody else do his dirty work as he sits and home and shines his PUMA's!"
-The Kevin Doebler

"No one, but if I find someone who is, I'm gonna kick their fuckin' ass."
-Girth

"Canada because they drink tequila, which is the Osama bin Laden of alcohol. Uh, you like it."
-T.D. redsun51@AOL.com

"I think that fuckin' Kurt Angle is prolly the biggest Taliban Symapathizer that I know of. Think about it, after betraying his very own sport, the next step on the back-stabbing ladder would have to the good ol' U-S of A. He is a fucking sheep intestine, and he makes me want to vomit all over his gold medal, which he shouldn't even be able to wear anymore. Osama Bin Angle has, most likely, melted it down anyway and donated it to the Taliban government. If not Kurt Angle, then Bob Gilman. If you were to take any photo of lil' Bobby, and wrap a towel around his head, and draw a goat's beard on his chin, the resembelence is striking!"
-Rory Tobias

"The wacky Packy who used to fill up our water last season. I believe Josh dubbed him Osama Bin Laden, Jr. Let's blow up his 7-11, yo."
-Mikey Rich