Week THIRTY-EIGHT - "Although we have nothing against homosexuals, the law of percentages says that at least one of the Crack Staff Comrades is gay. Which one do you think is?"

"Well then, I know this: I know I am not gay, and I do not talk about gays, unless it's a "he's gay" or "that's gay" and such. The only "gayness" I speak about is of the lesbian kind, becauses they're great, unlike...well, you know..So if there IS someone on the Crack Staff who IS gay...well, I'm just hoping that a meteor strikes him dead as I speak, not that I have anything wrong with gays mind you, I just think it seems appropriate "you like it up the ass, eh? No, that's an exit only." So here's a meteor and BOOM."

-CanMan

"Definitely your mom."

-Angela

"Hmm, as a member of the CSC team, I've got to tell you, it damn sure ain't me. It's not Hannon, Weston, Schieve, or Hammy, because they went to JC, and JC only produced only one cupcake that I know of. That leaves the two Chris's, Burgan and Onskyo. Hmm, I see Onskyo has a senior picture as his photo. That just screams "flamer" to me. So Onskyo, grab yourself a beer and a cigar, and prove us wrong."

-Bob Gilman

"Did anyone notice that Matt Hardy of the WWF's Hardy Boys kind of looks like Josh?"

-Shea

"Anyone notice that Shea kind of looks like Goldberg, minus the fact that he's missing the good looks of a nice Jewish boy?"

-Neale

"If anyone says it's me, I'm gonna break their fucking kneecaps. If I had to put money on it, it'd have to be Gilman."

-Weston

"Josh, if you keep telling people I'm gay, I'll fucking cut ya."

-Weston

"I'm serious man, I'll fucking cut ya."

-Weston

"umm....im going with bob what the hell the kid broke a bottle over his head i hear cus the mets lost im a huge mets and im dumb but im not stupid i mean can anyone write and story bout what happened i just heard mets lost then bob broke a bottle on his head....freaky what happens next a keg?"

-from its its me its ernest T

"You mean I have to pick just ONE?"

-Katie Mihalko